Men and women are different. Our brains are even different. The
part of the brain that controls visual abilities,concepts, and skills
necessary for tasks like math and architecture is about 6 percent larger
in men than in women. Yet women's brains have more brain cells, and our heart beats faster than a man's. We truly are different.
TOP THREE NEEDS:
Men’s top 3 needs:
To be needed
To be fulfilled
Women ‘s top 3 needs:
A woman wants to cuddle, a man craves sex.
A woman wants to talk; a man has ran out of words
A woman longs for the family to do everything together; a man longs for independence
Looking at the top 3 needs of both men and women, can you understand why they conflict?
Let's look at his first top need: respect
If you ask a man if he would rather be loved or respected, he would say respected. If a guy isn’t respected, he doesn’t feel loved. Women are very intimidating to men. They can't figure out how or why we are the schedule wonders of the world. We are very relational, we have a need to talk, to ask questions. A typical man doesn’t have that need to talk, as much as we do. A woman on average uses 3 ½ times more words as a man, every day. They
come home from work and we are wound up and ready to talk. He has already used his word count for the day. This
doesn’t mean that he is not willing to listen to you, he still wants to
hear from you, he just may feel no need to contribute anything to the
conversation. He wants you to respect him by filling him
in on your day, especially if is key to your family's life, (He surely
doesn’t want to hear 3rd hand about something that happens in his own family.)
You also show respect by respecting him as an adult, even when he acts like a little boy. Guys seem really tough on the outside, yet on the inside they are very fragile. If
they feel disrespected or put down, they will get quiet and shut down.
Some men start doing things like staying later at work, finding busy tasks to do. Because men are less relational, they tend to have fewer friends. They have acquaintances, but fewer friends therefore you figure much higher in your husband's thoughts than you might think. Matter of fact, the person your husband cares more about is you, although his ego may seem to be wrapped up in his job Don’t be fooled! Men do identify with work, but where they really want to succeed is is at home.
Your husband needs to be needed by you.
He needs
to hear it in your words and see it in your actions, and to hear you
saying something to your girlfriend on the phone about how he
helped you do the dishes, and you really needed that so much, is a
major boost of esteem for him.Our husbands appreciate when we are efficient and independent, but not too efficient and independent. He needs you to allow him to do things for you, even if he doesn’t do it quite the way you want him to.. he still needs to do it. Be careful about being too independent, because you are subtly giving him the message you don’t really need him. If
your man knows his role in your family can't be played by anyone else,
he will be okay in other areas where he may experience failure, such as
job loss.
Fulfillment
When your
husband picked you as his soul mate, he picked you for a reason. Now that you're married and he got the job done, he turns his attention to
succeeding in his career, and providing for his family. All of a sudden, the romantic gestures of flowers, and romantic attention dies down.
The second part of being fulfilled, is sexual fulfillment which we will discuss later on.
Men are really simple. If
you meet your mans 3 needs, they will be better husbands, better dads,
and better lovers, and ladies, it doesn’t require a lot of effort.
So what does your guy need? Guys are actually simple. Don’t try to do guesswork, if you understand their needs and throw them an extra treat once in awhile, they will be satisfied.
HE NEEDS TO BE BABIED ONCE IN AWHILE
Lets talk about when our men get sick. Their entire world stops...and so does ours! He needs a drink, an aspirin,
the remote because he's so tired he cant move, he needs food, and a
straw, while he lies on the couch, or in the big recliner, with you at his
beck and call. When we get sick, we only stop long enough to throw back some Dayquil and proceed with our day. So why are men like this? Because they revert to little boys who need someone to pay attention to them and take care of them. As irritating as it may sound, we morph our minds from wife to mother. You're taking care of a little boy who needs to know he is loved and see it in action. He needs to know that he is priority and everything else is secondary to him.When a man ‘acts like a baby’ do you know what he is really saying? I need you to pay attention to me. Right now. They
become jealous over the time we spend with our kids, our friends, and
our pets, and often feel like there is no time left for them.
I
certainly hope that by gaining a greater understanding of your mans needs
verses your own, that it has helped you to see why there is a difference. Check back
in next week as we continue this topic...
Jeni Morelock
