"It is well, it is well with my soul"
One of my all time favorite hymns seems to run through my
head at least once a week. So gifted a writer yet so troubled a life when he
wrote those words. I think God has left this song imprinted on my heart for so many
years to remind me that no matter what storms may come in life, in Him I can
always find the peace that will make it "well with my soul".
My name is Angie Dishner. I am a member at the Hill Road
campus. I have been a member for quite a while now even though my husband and I
have only been attending as a family for the past year and a half. I am married
to Scott Dishner and have two wonderful (sometimes not so wonderful) kids.
Scott is a real estate agent and we have been married for 7 years. Mady is 5 and full of energy, spunk, and the
same attitude as her mother (we're praying hard about that one) and Cooper is 3
and full of love for everyone he comes in contact with. They are both blessings
and trials as most moms of preschoolers would admit, but the absolute joy of
our lives. In addition to being a wife and mom, I am also an RN like my own
mother. I work at the Health Resources Center in the mall as a staff RN and a
diabetic educator but my previous passion was childbirth. I still teach
childbirth classes at the mall from time to time. I also dabble in a few direct
home sales companies.
I will first of all say that I am so blessed by God and have
been my whole life. He has been very evident to me in my life and my
circumstances ever since I can remember. I have never had to worry about having
a roof over my head, food on my table, or clothes to wear. However, the life of
my heart has been a series of joys, sorrows, shames, fears, etc... So glad that
this world is NOT my home! Anyway, I was raised in church and was saved in
children's church when I was 6 so I don't really know what it is like to live
without Jesus. I used to question this part in God's plan but I have finally
lived enough to realize what a blessing that was. Growing up, even though in church,
was not easy. My parents had a very rocky marriage and eventually divorced in
my early teens. Little did I know how that would affect the rest of my life.
So, sidebar, any of you out there that are thinking that you just can't live
one more day with that person I beg you to reconsider. I am not judging anyone.
I just know, from a child's perspective, the pain that divorce causes for a
lifetime and I can definitely see why it was not the way God designed things.
As the years went on I became a strong person on the outside yet I was fearful
of everything on the inside.
"For God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of
love, power, and of a sound mind"
II TImothy 1:7 became my life verse at that point. Something
that I could hold on to and use in those moments that I was afraid. Afraid of
rejection, afraid of falling off something and being critically injured (yes I
am that person), afraid of being a fool, even afraid of the dark! God used that
verse to help me find the courage to get out of an abusive relationship before
it was too late and he used that verse to help me have the courage to allow
someone to love me and marry me a few years later.
About a year and a half ago the biggest storm of my life
came. It came in a way that I never saw coming like a Tsunami. I felt like my
whole world was falling apart. My husband and I both spent months looking at
who we were as individuals, who we were together, and who we were for God's
kingdom. Talk about hard! I finally started to see that all of those walls that
fear had put up in my heart and life were going to need to come crashing down
to restore my marriage and restore my life in Christ. I will be very honest and
say that the word "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" (sorry I live my life to music)
definitely crossed my mind but also very happy to say that it went out just as
quickly as it came in. Our great friends, Sam and Debbie Wood ministered to my
heart so much in that time. Even though at times it felt like she was my enemy,
Debbie brought me to a place of true worship with God. Instead of being my
friend and telling me what I wanted to hear she told me that I needed to
surround myself with the things of God. LIsten to praise music, get in God's
word and see Him for who He really is, and bow down in front of a holy God and
pour out my heart. Shew! That was the hardest and the best thing I have ever
done in my life. In the end, she was right. By engulfing myself in the person
of God the focus shifted away from me, away from my husband, and away from all
of those walls I had built up.
I used to think that it was Satan throwing circumstances at
me that caused me to fear, which was very defeating and allowed me to give
myself a pity party or an anxiety attack. Now I look at it as another
opportunity to utilize and celebrate the strength I have in Christ. Not that it
is always easy, but it is definitely more peaceful. So, in the end, yes it is well with my soul. The
storms will still come, the fears will still threaten, and the walls will still
try to take over again. But I will just keep on singing...IT IS WELL!
Thank you for the opportunity to share a little bit of me,
and what God has done with a very messed up woman, with you.
~Submitted by Jessica PoffISBC Women's Ministry
Events Coordinator
