By Tanja Moody
When I was
growing up, my family moved often because of my dad’s Air Force career. We
lived in Kansas, Arkansas, Tennessee, South Carolina, Germany and finally
Oklahoma. During those years, my mother took my brothers and me to church, but
my dad did not attend. Our last military move happened the year before I was a
junior in high school and it was rough for me. I was angry about the move and I
quit going to church. After I was in college, my dad retired to middle
Tennessee where my grandparents lived, but I stayed in Oklahoma, living with my
best friend.
Shortly
before I turned 21, I remember driving to work one day and it hit me out of the
blue that if I wrecked and died right then, I’d be going to hell. I’d made a
real mess of my life. Although I’d been out of church for a long time, all
those things I’d been taught when I was younger about sin and repentance had
stuck. His word does not return void (Isaiah 55:11). I asked Jesus to come help
me and He’s never left me since.
After a few
months, I moved to join my parents and older brother in Cookeville so I could
finish college at Tennessee Tech. My younger brother stayed in Oklahoma.
None of my
initial plans for my life panned out. I look back often and realize that the
Lord’s ways are so much better (Isaiah 55:8-9). Once upon a time, I wanted to
get married right out of high school - I didn’t even want to go to college.
Also, I had no idea what to “be” until my best friend said, “You should do
something with writing, because the notes we pass around in class always make
me laugh.” And so I decided on a split major in English-journalism.
I met my
husband Bruce at TTU’s Baptist Student Union. We had mutual friends, and I
remember telling my prayer partner at the time, “I want to marry someone like
Bruce, but not Bruce. He’s too young.” He’s three years younger than I am, and
still, we got married a few years later,
after I finished college (several years later than I planned!). I love him more
now than when we said “I do” 18 years ago. And that’s the Lord’s doing, because
I did not have a good model of a Christian marriage until after we married and
I watched how Bruce’s parents loved the Lord and each other.
After moving
so often as a child, I dreamed of settling down and never uprooting again.
Bruce was born and raised here in Kingsport, only leaving to go to college, so
I thought he’d be a safe bet. But when he graduated, his first job moved us to
Arkansas. We were there only a year when his company transferred us to Texas. I
joked with my mother-in-law at the time and said, “I think God got confused. I
prayed that we’d move back to Tennessee… not the other state that starts with a
T.”
I always wanted
to be done having babies by the time I turned 30. But I had some medical issues
that, for awhile, made us wonder if we’d ever have children. We found out we
were pregnant with Clay on my 30th birthday. And not for the first
time, I thought, “God must look at me, chuckle and say, ‘I’ve got this. And for
future reference, we’re doing things My way now, so calm down.’”
After two
years in Texas, Bruce found a job in this area, and we moved to Kingsport when
Clay was only 7 weeks old. It was crazy, driving 15 hours straight in two
vehicles with my in-laws along to help and a newborn, a cat and two dogs!
I had wanted
twins that first pregnancy, so I would be done having babies, because having
just two munchkins was the plan. But God again chucked all my plans and during
our second pregnancy Bruce and I were both floored when we found out we were
expecting Spencer and Allison. We don’t remember a whole lot about life for the
first year after those little whirlwinds arrived! We rely a lot on pictures to
fill in the blanks where our memories were robbed by sleep deprivation and the
exhaustion of chasing three kiddos in diapers.
We’ve been in
Kingsport now for 12 years, and we joined ISBC about three years ago. It’s
right where the Lord means for us to be.
I’ll be
revealing my age when I admit this silly thing, but I longed for the day when
I’d be able to say that I’d lived most of my life as a Christian. And I’m
finally there… 21 years of running from Him, 22 years of clinging to Him. My
life since I welcomed in Jesus has not been perfect. It hasn’t even gone as I
planned. But my life before I had Jesus was filled with loneliness, unforgiveness
and ugliness. Sometimes I compare where I was to where He’s brought me and I’m overwhelmed
with gratitude. He’s blessed me so good.
There’s a
song from a couple of years ago that brings me to tears every time I hear it. It’s
“More Beautiful You” by Jonny Diaz. The words that mean the most to me in that
song are:
“The one
who's strong, can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears, dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world.
He will take your dark, distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl.”
Can rid your fears, dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world.
He will take your dark, distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl.”
What a waste,
all the years when I knew the Truth but didn’t accept Him. But thank God, He
restores, redeems and transforms.
~ Submitted by Kathy Neal
ISBC Women's Ministry
Communications Coordinator
